My parting message
Created by Diane 7 years ago
Fe, I was enamored with you from the beginning. We met in 2003 in Equatorial Guinea on a research trip to, what else, count monkeys. Our first night in the jungle was New Year's Eve. I was slack jawed when you, literally, set the night on fire, twirling your poi on the beach. I was drawn to you like an insect to a bright light. I'll never forget playing Truth or Dare in the tent where you had to sniff Abbey's feet. Or when we went on an adventure to find herb and ended up dancing with prostitutes in an empty bar. Or when we swam in the ocean with our tops off to let our boobies bounce in the waves. Or when I visited you in south central LA and listened to you try to coerce your slum lord with the terrible toupee into giving back your security deposit. Or just watching people look at you like you were crazy...I loved your crazy.
...I will try to honor your request and not let guilt or sadness overwhelm me but...fuck, the pile of tissues next to me is spilling on to the floor. Even though it has been over 10 years since our last visit, I always thought we'd find our way back to each other, as though no time had passed.........I had no idea. It is arrogant of me to think that had I known the pain in your heart that I could have done anything to heal you but please know I would have given anything I had. There have been times in my life that I have wanted to just...sublimate into the cosmos without anyone noticing. While I can't help but notice a world without you, I won't waste a moment blaming you for seeking the peace you could not find here.
I'm having a hard time clicking 'post' because it will mean that I have finished saying goodbye, something I never bothered to imagine. There will always be a tiny monkey island in my heart for my fascinating, joyous, endearing, lovely, fearless, ridiculous and amazing monkey friend.
Pictures
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crazy